I hate them. They make me do stupid things, they make me think stupid things, they make me say stupid things. I just need to get out of here. I need to do something. I dont know what to do. I dont know what im doing. I have to find my Edward. I dont think he's in Odessa. But I cant get out. I can't leave. Theres people here. There's people here I know and love. I suppose thats my roblem--I know everyone here and already know there's not a single Edward in this town. I wonder if he's out there. I wonder if he's waiting for me. I wonder if he needs a Bella. This place can't be my whole life. I know I HAVE to be destined for so much more. I have to get out of here. Soon. I have to. I want a story to tell people. I want there to be magic. I want people to wish they had my story. There's no magic and mystery and wonder in saying, "We met at my sister's house and he was hammered." That's awful. Thats horrible. I don't want that to be my story. I want to say that...we were in a book store, in search of the same novel, but didn't know it. Then we ended up on the same aisle, reaching for the same book at the same time. Of course he got to it first, but we giggled and talked about the book and he let me take it, but only if I let him borrow it when I was done. Or...we were in a coffee shop. He had gotten his right before I got mine. We were at the same area putting sugar in our coffee, and I spilled mine all over him. He jumps at first, but then our eyes meet and he says I can make it up to him by having lunch at IHOP. Or...of course....there's the ever-so-popular...I walk into a classroom and he falls in love with the smell of my blood and does everything he can to get away from me, but ends up falling in love with me and doing whatever it takes to protect me and keep me safe. UGHHHHH. Why am I like this? Why is this such a big deal for me?? Why can't I just have fun?? Why do I need to be in love?
Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: Rob Pattinson